Gimp Ride To Salt Air

I, at times, like to shield my loved ones from some of the stupid things I do. Especially if it's accidental. I went on a ride with one of my friends out to Salt Air recently, and it may or may not have involved some of the following:

• Someone wearing a boot (I have no idea how anyone rides with a boot on, and I hope I never do)
• Being locked out of the only entrance gate to return to the normal road (long story--it is by the airport and is limited access)


• Having two options to return: swim across a river with our bikes, or to cross the freeway when said entrance gate was locked


• The sun had set and it being quite dark when having to cross said freeway when said entrance gate was locked


• Me promising in a prayer to donate the next year of my life to soup kitchen if I made it alive during said night time when having to cross said freeway, when said entrance gate was locked.

But who cares about any of that. Let's get to the point here: my dilemma. Yes, I made it across alive. Yes, it was sketchy for a bit. Yes, I did promise to donate the next year of my life to a soup kitchen. But let's be pragmatic here. The spirit of my promise was to help the less than fortunate feel better about their lives. I work by Homeless (otherwise known as Pioneer) Park. I walk by the park, dressed up, to get my lunch. I often get cat-called by homeless men when I walk by the park. I often have soup for lunch. Do you see where this is going? Surely me walking by Pioneer Park dressed up, distracting people long enough to be catcalled, is helping the less than fortunate feel better about their lives. Well?? Fine. I'll just pull out the yellow pages right now and find a soup kitchen or two.